Trusting Him

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Felt a little old for the youth conference organised by New Creation Church where they brought in Hillsong United but I know that no adventure is ever a lost cause when you’re doing it for the Kingdom of God. For one, it’s awesome seeing young people energised for God, seeing them pray spontaneously for one another, seeking first His Kingdom before anything else. I see faces that are still growing and have not fully formed to be the man or woman that God destined them to be. So many young faces, so many individual, bright futures. It’s gonna be exciting times for them and me being the older youth, hopefully be able to find a way to guide them in areas where I myself have fallen trap to.

Actually as much as I’ve been cruising at work, I think I’ve been cruising in my faith. I’ve been feeling a little dried out, stagnant, stale, and getting a little mouldy. The Word doesn’t seem to fresh anymore and it feels like the same drill over and over again. Spiritual alarm bells will indicate some sin in my life but I couldn’t discern any that were grave enough to put me in such a state.

Then came Ps Judah Smith from City Church, Seattle speaking on Luke 7:12-15

“As he drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow, and a considerable crowd from the town was with her. And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.” Then he came up and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, “Young man, I say to you, arise.” And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother.”

Although the point that Smith was trying to draw out was on compromises in our lives (not elaborated in this post), the pointed personal message to me was about lost hope. The widow, who lost her husband and now her husband, must have been terribly lonely. She would not have considered that her son would come back to life again should this chance encounter with Jesus (in her perspective probably) not have occurred. All hope was lost. I mean, how often does the dead come back to life? When things die, they just die. But in her case, her son was brought back to life. In a sense, hope was renewed.

I guess what took place inside of me was a minuscule bit of renewed hope. Hope in hope. Hope in a future, a good one, one that He will provide, that He will prepare me for. So there it is. My lack of faith in Him surfaces again and it appears in such mundane ways, but it’s true and it’s there, real as my palm in front of my face. At least I now recognise it and can combat it.

Reminds me of the day, quite recently, where I wrestled with God in the middle of the night and my heart revealed my lack of trust in His way of planning my life out for me. But I knew better after the wrestle with Him. God only wants to reveal my truest heart of hearts before Him and hide nothing.

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