Place: Holiday Inn, Taipei
Feels: Sapped dry, physically, mentally and emotionally
Here at Taipei visiting a dear uncle (friend of dad’s) whom I grew up being fascinated by. Fascinated by his abundant knowledge, his witty verbal intercourses with dad, the expat lifestyle he led and being an impressionable kid that I was, the magic tricks that nobody has ever enchanted me with.
It’s a short trip this time, just 6 – 8 Nov. Not in the least of mood to do any shopping, good eating or meet up with any friend (sorry, Lydia). Just a time I wanna cave into a time of retreat, a good measure of seeking His face, and allowing my face to be well washed with tears. With next to no hope but only a mustard seed sized amount of faith and hope in my big big God, I hold on for any miracle that can be. But oh, it’s only up to Him and all in His hands.
I can’t describe the state my uncle is in, nor want to, so publicly. He very likely has cancer, and numerous tumours. There’s pain, discomfort, lack of sleep. He is overwhelmed by weakness and tiredness. He cannot swallow his food, and it is too much work to speak. But beneath it all, there’s still a man held in so much pride.
God, I can’t tell you how much difficulty it is to just be content with what I have already done and can only do, and that is to pray for him and his family with him, to rebuke all spirits bothering him, to still boldly ask for healing despite the waves of unbelief that pour forth from visual evidence, from the words of every mouth around, one by one giving up hope. Tell me what is hope? What can hope be other than the final promise of eternity? Can you not raise another Lazarus? Heal another leper? Open the eyes of another blind so that he can see? Will you not restore him, that only Your name will be glorified and none other?
I plead, oh God, that you open his heart and mind to you and that you move in his heart. Because you have final say, and because I have done what I can, and I know that you can do far more, exceedingly and more powerfully. I have to let you take over now, Lord, for your name, Jesus, is beautiful and perfect, above my name, above his name, above the names of cancer, tumours, pain and discomfort. And in your name, my Jehovah Rapha lives. If there is a time where your miraculous touch is needed, please let it be here and now.