Sometimes I worry that this shop area is really quiet and I wonder about surviving and why God opened this door for me. Yet in the quietness and solitude that I go through every morning, I delight in having that stillness and peace (even though it makes no perfect business sense for a retail shop/gallery space like ours). But I’ll figure something out later.

One morning, I heard loud mewing from our shop’s backyard. Yes, we’ve got a neat little backyard that needs much cleaning up but we pretty much left it the way it was when the previous tenant left it. Mommy Cat has given birth to 3 little ones. That morning, one little one must have fallen from the tall ledge where Mommy Cat and the rest of the little kitties are. She looked really upset. She kept trying to climb everywhere upwards – up the pipeline, up the shelving that contains the air-con condenser, and in a moment of desperation, up the wall. She wanted to be up where the rest are. Her feeble little paws were clawing and clawing but they seemed too weak to pull her upwards. She went on mewing loudly but Mommy Cat just looked down on her in nonchalance.

All this while I was sitting at a distance, watching her as tears well up my eyes. I wanted to walk over, pick her up and put her up on the ledge where everybody is. I wanted her to be happy and to stop crying out in anguish. But I knew it was something she has to go through on her own. How will she grow up strong if I kept picking her up each time she falls? How will she learn to stand up on her own, walk her own path with courage? I sat aside, heart in pain, though it was just a little kitty.

I thought of the times I fell down and God seemed far away. I thought of how I cried out to Him so many times over but He didn’t see to answer. But really, He is just watching over us and allowing the process to build us stronger than ever. I remember Corrine May said this at her concert to one of her songs Scars (from Beautiful Seed), that scars are formed, thicker than our flesh, making us stronger than ever after after hurt we’ve gone through. I think that’s really spot on.

Here’s the cute little one 🙂


3 thoughts on “Scars

  1. midnight's driver

    did it not occur to you that perhaps God had sent you there to save the cat? you talk about all the times you fell and cried out to God, but he remained silent… did He not send someone your way? did not someone or some message reach you that offered you solace and comfort? God works in mysterious ways. don’t be so quick to be so cocksure of what God intends for you. or for that kitty.

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