Daddy’s lesson #1: Do Not Gossip


My dad isn’t a Christian. My dad is a male chauvinist pig and no matter how broke he is when he was out on a date with my mom, he’ll never let her pay. My dad didn’t want my mom to work because he felt he is the man and the rightful sole breadwinner of the family. My dad has strong opinions and is stubborn. My dad is smart, intellectual and is always keen on a game of badminton. He is always ready for a good discussion (or debate) that most people will shy away from because they are afraid of getting into arguments. My dad is a proud man, a self-made man. And I love him and very much look up to him.That being said, it also may give my future husband a high standard to live up to because I like a man like my dad: a man who wants to provide, a man who is unafraid to speak his own views, a man whom people want to engage in a good and deep conversation with and a man who has a soft side for the women in his life and will not fear stepping forward and protecting them.

I think the psychologists are right so far in saying that girls look for a husband who is like their dad.

Even though daddy isn’t Christian, one of the main important lessons he had taught me in life was that it is good to question, it is good to gain knowledge and it isn’t good to gossip. I have kept these lessons in my heart from young. Many may say I think too much and I’m always happy to gain more knowledge in areas that I’m interested in (sadly not in politics as dad might prefer) and especially so in human behavior, psychology and theology. I have loads of questions and am always excited when I feel like I’ve hit gold – when I feel like I’ve got the answer. I suspect that many who have said that I think too much (yes I agree I do sometimes) but I also do think that for some of them, they have either chosen NOT to think about certain rather important matters or just think too little. And I cannot say or feel there is anything wrong in thinking alot. God-given faculties, right?

Daddy’s #1 lesson for me was: Do Not Gossip. I admit sometimes I still do. The smallest member of our body is indeed the most vicious among us, with the ability to curse or to bless. I realise also that sometimes people gossip even in church and they don’t realise that they are. Gossip seems to be guised in the form of sharing another’s problem. How does one really define gossip? As would have it, it means this: idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others. Simply put, talking about somebody else to another when it is none of your business. In the church, gossip can come in various forms. It can come in the form of sharing somebody else’s problem/sin in a bid to rally people to pray for that one person. I’m sure a non-gossipy way of doing this could be telling all these other people that person XX needs your prayer on some matters, and leave the leading to the Holy Spirit. I believe there can always be a better way to pray for people without needing to know the full story.

This topic made me question why is it that people like to gossip and read tabloids. It is easiest to cast judgments and interpret (and often misinterpret) another’s action when we pronounce that in words in the form of gossip to another. The way of gossip is simply to re-enact a situation in your own words as a commentator, with your own tone of voice, expression and choice of words, which may most often change or twist the story 180 degrees altogether. Tabloids are ever filled with the media’s interpretation on the lives of celebrities (especially). I cannot imagine having mine put under a microscope and me having to defend myself for every little action that I take, perhaps including what I eat and think. Why are we ever so keen to read on the scandalous tales of other people’s lives yet fail to use that precious time to examine our own lives instead? Isn’t it always easier to judge somebody else’s lifestyle rather than look inward at our own?

How much of your life do you surrender to God? Does Jesus have access to every secret corner? Do you sometimes feel misaligned from God’s way, since sin simply means missing the mark? How many sins do we miss out on confessing to Him who can cleanse us from all stains? Or maybe the question is more of: How much into our hearts do we dare allow Him to enter and how much are we willing to let Him transform us?

My self-reflection this week brought up alot of issues with my own pride, self-righteousness, criticism and judgment. They’re so deeply ingrained in me that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to work through them completely. God, please give me strength, courage and keep my heart soft to you. I know that you have led me closer to you time and again. Don’t give up on me now and give me an ever willing heart to continue under your refining fire no matter how difficult it can be. In Jesus’s name, AMEN.


9 thoughts on “Daddy’s lesson #1: Do Not Gossip

  1. Greetings. It’s amazing how easy it is to unknowingly become involved in the affairs of others and call it “being concerned.” I fear that it goes on more often than we realize. The whole culture seems to be obsessed with tabloid stories and the television is saturated with much of the same.
    Thanks for such a needful post. To watch what we say isn’t easy as the book of James warns us, but it’s needful.

    have a blessed day in Christ.


  2. allie

    I can empathise with the “daddy’s my hero” part. But for me, it really took a turn after I became a believer. Suddenly, my dad was no longer the all-knowing, all-wise one. In fact, I increasingly found him terribly critical and judgemental. Ahem, unlike my heavenly patient kind Father!

    Then I had to grapple with my disdain for my dad.

    Then I realised his bad habits were also mine.

    Then I realised God could use me to love him still.

    I believe that submitting to the head of our household is a powerful weapon. It somehow cranks into action forces we never knew we could start simply by holding our judgement, tongues and actions. Maybe we should start a word study on “submission”!

    Hey qi, when I’m settled into my new place, I’m thinking of starting a book club! I was inspired by this course I attended. We can choose books of a certain genre, theme or author and then have loads of fun in a cosy group.

    Are you keen?


  3. It’s a beautiful thing to see a daughter’s love for her Daddy! It’s a more precious thing to be the wife to such a man as your Dad and walk out God’s miracles through the journey~even when it’s difficult! I enjoyed finding your blog! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

  4. allie, thanks for stopping by! i believe i went through the same things with my dad and am able to, time and again, choose to love him more than before.

    a book club sounds like fun – tell me more about it! miss u.

  5. allie

    Yo! I just checked by cuz I am facing the CA crunch before the mid-yr exams begin next week. =)

    Miss you too, let’s meet up next week ok? I’ll tell u about the book club then. Haha… no one talks about THE BOOK CLUB.

  6. allie: all the best gal! 😀 what nobody talks about book club? i was actually considering setting it up with a friend but it seems she may be too busy at this point in time 🙂 we’re all such bookworms. yes tell me more about it anyways. let me know when you’re free! seems like only my weds are free right now.

  7. How wonderful it is to find a Christian looking in the “mirror” of God’s word to get a spiritual check up. We can find self righteous articles on a regular basis. Just this weekend I took inventory of my discipleship. The balance sheet shows, once again, I can still ask God for improvement help. Thank you fro the healthy writing style you share. You have accomplished a couple things here;
    1. You point out my need to not gossip, and to teach my girls this virtue.
    2. You challenge me to keep growing and not think myself as “arived”.

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