100% made in Heaven


“Yes, to be vulnerable again. That is it.” Ade backed me up on that. I felt naked, exposed and even more vulnerable just thinking about that, and hearing an affirmation of what I just said. Do I have to?

Being vulnerable is what we have to be with our Lord. Having our hearts open to receive, to give, to trust and possibly be hurt. How else can we pursue Him with all our hearts, knowing that there is a place there deep within that only He can fill? But to be vulnerable with people? Fallen people? People who may claim to love me yet have the power to hurt me? Quite ready to faint at that thought to be honest.

For the past year, I’ve kept my heart guarded against people, possibly even my own friends, sharing only with the trusted inner circle (that still moves in and out and yes even that hurts). There are times whereby I realise I can’t even find somebody whom I can truly pour my heart out to and ask for prayer. Instead, I’ve been taking it all to my Father in heaven who hears all my words, my cries and woes. How I hasten even, before I share with somebody, fearing it be used against me at the end of the day, or lead to questions that I may not be able to answer, probings that may only re-evoke painful memories of the past. I’ve kept my heart soft and vulnerable only for my Lord. It kept me sane too; I didn’t have to deal with complicated relationships and friendships. And maybe that’s part of the beauty of our relationship with God – it is NEVER complicated but simple. Never easy though, in times where we cannot hear Him, but simple. I’m so comfortable where I am that I don’t want things to change! I don’t want my relationship with Him to be even tested or have anything else added to that perfect (to me) formula. That’s how it has been and this is where I am.

But I’ve been feeling the nudges to go beyond my comfort zone (nOooOOooO). And hey, I’ve learnt to be a ‘yes’ woman to my King. Who else knows better at the end of the day, right?

So Lord, I ask you to guide me in my steps. My baby steps of faith, Lord, as I walk courageously into all that You have in store for me so that I can serve you with all that I have, and fulfill all that You crafted me to be by Your loving hands. And as the enemy is ever prowling close, Lord I ask you to keep me even closer to You, a snug fit in Your arms, and never never let me go or allow me to be far from You. Yes, be my jealous King and Lord because I’m forever Yours. In the name of Your beautiful Son Jesus Christ, amen šŸ™‚


14 thoughts on “100% made in Heaven

  1. For the longest time, i had been leaving my door open… with a screen to trap flies and bloodsuckers. I suppose it confuses people who want to come in. Perhaps i should take down the screen and arm myself with a fly swatter?! Hahaha

    Maybe because i knew there’s a rank room in there somewhere (is that why the flies come??), and while others can’t see the mess i’m sure the smell leaks for those with sensitive noses. šŸ˜› Thankfully those that came in don’t ask too much until i threw the door open (voluntarily or at some silly accidental/ unguarded moment! šŸ˜® augh!)

    And that is when i just have to face doing the laundry. :p

  2. Oh yes. And i rather admire the way you (and many others as well) say ‘YES’. Hah i used to fend Him off first and then say OKAY, OKAY STOP BUGGING ME and bring out the bargaining chips. heheheh
    Baby steps might be good after all. The few times i said yes it either worked merrily out (despite doubtful thoughts) or i banged my nose into something for skipping along but looking behind. Oww

  3. Greetings. To take everything to the lord in prayer. Indeed Jesus is a friend who sticks closer than a brother and he will never let us down.
    Blessings always in Christ.


  4. clare: doing laundry is a definite must. plus, you don’t really wanna LIVE with the dirty laundries in your life, right? šŸ™‚ thanks for leaving dropping by!

    timbob: bless you and thanks for stopping by too!

  5. Ade

    Vulnerability, Is a scary and sacred word. People find it difficult to be vulnerable, thereby making it harder to let go of the past and embrace the future. By becoming vulnerable we are saying that Lord, this is my burden, take it, replace my yoke with your light and gentle load. That by embracing you and confessing my hurt, anger, anguish and pain, I may walk into your love. As Christians, we must be vulnerable and trust that God allows us through this process to become reliant (this becomes or bond of dependency) on him. Our vulnerability ensures that in sharing our passion for Christ and his death upon the cross, we may convey to others that indeed our life’s are full of blemish, sin and hurt. That like them we are full of sin and lacking in grace. That indeed the redeemer saved us by turning the old wine into new. Through vulnerability, Christ completed the work on the cross.

  6. Every time I visit here you are being so honest and open, I pray the Lord will also bless you with flesh and blood people who are safe and open with you too.
    Bless you sister, and may Jesus heal and comfort your heart.

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