marriages in the family


my cousin got married today. what joy! the boy whom i used to fight with when we were kids (and wrestle and punch) is now a wonderfully made God-fearing man. with a beautiful wife at that. this sure brought some nostalgia, especially since i grew up not being close to my paternal relatives, my cousins included. i even have problems with some of their names. and today, early in the morning, as per Chinese traditions, there is a tea ceremony at the bridegroom’s place where the married couple will present tea to all their senior relatives. my parents ought to be there but they weren’t. i went not because i had to. i went because my aunt asked us to, i mean she personally called and invited and it was rude not to go. but above all, i guess i secretly wanted to go. after coming to Christ, i realised just how easy it is to be able to open up to other Christians. and it’s actually rather heartwarming to learn that i do have Christian relatives. so technically i didn’t go because she’s my aunt but i went because she’s a sister in Christ.

so i said a little prayer in the morning, that i won’t stick out like a sore thumb, and that i’ll actually be able to talk to my relatives. believe me, we hardly hold a conversation anything more than a syllable response. a little surprised they were that i turned up ALONE but nevertheless welcomed me warmly (so they weren’t so bad after all. i rebuke all the years of distorted judgments that i had of them).

ended up talking to my 3rd cousin’s girlfriend. or rather fiancée. yes they’re getting married today. she started sharing with me how she used to run a wedding planner service with her friends and how fun it was for them to cook up 1000 proposal ideas to suggest to clients. but my cousin’s gotta be the ultimate romantic – his proposal is really out of this world. at least out of my imagination. i hope i have permission to reenact this for the eyes of other hopeless romantics.

they were on a cruise on christmas day, and they were on the deck watching the sunrise. my cousin suggested that they play this little game of roleplaying certain scenes from their courtship and see if the other can recall what occasion it was. there came a part where he played out this scene where he gave her her first ring on the first anniversary together. he gave her the ring in this magic box where you have to keep opening it and it’s either nothing or the ring is there. he insisted on putting the ring into the box in the reenactment and she gingerly relented. so the ring went in and out came an engagement ring. neither of us girls can figure out how it works and you have to admit that was a pretty clever thing to do. and he must have plotted it for a while!!!

for reasons one or another, i guess the inevitable question they had for me and i saw it coming was what about me? when i told them i’m not with anybody i think they took a while to adjust back to their normal composure and my cousin jokingly said i must have suitors and just not picking any of them. actually that’s far from the truth but i didn’t want him to have to try and regain his composure again ;D

truth is, i have already told God to keep undesirable characters out of my life. let’s narrow that down to undesirable men. when God had to break me to mend me and draw me to Him, i’m sure He wasn’t gonna put me through another wild ride for He has no desire to hurt us but to bless us (Jeremiah 29:11). and i had a personal promise from God to cling to, if that indeed be the desire of His heart for me. so no, i’m not jealous that people around me are getting married. i’m not jealous or insecure that around 15 out of 18 people of my cell group are hitched and on their way down the aisle and i realise how beautiful it is really just to build up that relationship with God first and all things will come into place (Matthew 6:33).

‘There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.’
Ecclesiastes 3:1


5 thoughts on “marriages in the family

  1. Patience truly is a valuable attribute. Rushing into a relationship as I did can cause a lot of turmoil if it’s not the right one. My wife is nt a chrisitan and, while I love her very much and we’ve been together for fifteen years, there are difficulties at times that wouldn’t be there if she was a christian. I keep her in prayer much. It’s always a blessing to hear from you.

  2. cumby

    It sounds like you are doing the right thing. I was married at 22 and my wife was 20. It ended in divorce due to selfishness and immaturity, which are really one and the same.

    I have been married to my current wife for almost 22 years. I waited until the age of 34 to try again.

    It’s interesting that so many single people want to get married, while so many married ones want to get divorced. The grass does indeed seem greener on the other side of the fence.

    Being married requires the doing away with all thoughts of self. This, as we all know, requires much grace.

    It is a shame that in so many cultures, the unwed carry a type of stigma. The Bible says quite the opposite.

    In heaven we will all be wed to the same groom, Jesus Christ.

    Thanks so much for sharing this personal experience!

  3. Jesus will always be your truest love, even when the right guy comes along.
    Bless you for sharing.

    May Jesus hold you close at all times, revealing the depths of His love you more with each passing day!


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