relationships are funny businesses. we get together with somebody, things don’t work out, one person calls it off and says ‘we’re not meant to be’.
simple as it sounds, but truly it lies deeper than that?
every relationship that you make happens for a reason. whether friendship, loving relationship, or who your parents and siblings are. they’re all here for a reason whether you like to admit it or not. for true loving relationships, it doesn’t just happen overnight. there is definite attraction. so what really happens when something goes wrong?
i don’t believe ‘we’re not meant to be together’ serves a good reason enough for breakups. you fall in love for a reason. and when you fall in love, you bring your issues into the relationship. that is when things get detrimental and eats into each other. it is not the relationship that failed the both of you. it is your issues. if you choose to take the easy way out and leave the relationship, that issue will come back again, in the form of a big fight with a close friend, or it’ll resurface in another relationship. it is not the relationship that takes work – it is YOU that needs work. all of us need some working on. it takes a relationship to reveal what work needs to be done sometimes cos we’re just so happy in our own selfish skin we fail to see how we’re really part of this interconnected world.
i also learn that when 2 people fight, it is really their pride and ego lashing out at each other. there is never a winner when mr and mrs pride&ego fight. both lose. both are hurt. because words cut deep and usually are done out of thoughtlessness. there is no thought process at all – there is only mr and mrs pride&ego talking here. pride and ego has no room in a relationship. and pride&ego is also the hardest the heal because they are the forefront of who we are most of the time, whatever we do or say.
btw, your issues are your own to deal with. your partner can be understanding but that’s all there is. they’ll have their own issues to handle. making them change for you to suit your issues doesn’t happen – it never resolves your issue. so look deeper and examine yourself closer. your issues are not your character – you don’t need them at all. they only cause you unhappiness and feelings of worthlessness.
right now i’m just in limbo. away for long….or out?