“I am made to worship.” – Darlene Zschech

That line lingers in my heart. Without a song in my heart or just whispers of prayers to my lovely One, I feel a little lack in His presence, yet songs are not the end all, be all.

A song communicates the season of my heart, speaks volumes in the succinct essence of what the lyrics say, sums up the condition of my soul at times.

Be lifter higher in the circumstances that I face, cos You’re bigger, stronger and You’re in ultimate control.

I, too, am made to worship.

I had another 111 relevation in my prayer life today. Did I ever share how 111 seems to speak quite a bit into my life? For the past few days, I’ve been agonising and wrestling with God about His plans for me in terms of where I can best be of service to Him. I struggle with who He made me to be, who He wants me to be, and having the courage to live that out for Him, whatever it takes.

This morning’s devotion, Scripture assured me: “In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will…” Ephesians 1:11. It wasn’t until I decided to share it with Az over MSN that it occurred to me that 111 surfaced once again. Wow. Another 111 in my life that will hold me fast to His promises. I know He has placed certain God-given desires in me that will work out into His grand plan and I just need to trudge forward bravely.

A 111 that I took photo of while in Melbourne (I’m trying to revive my near-dead Flickr account). I’ll remember you, heed you where ever I go, Lord.

P/S I heart brick walls. Just one of those random things that makes a girl’s heart swoon over.

Place: Office (oops)
Time: 11am

He showered my heart
with drops of Love
a garden, shy at first,
even resistant;
slowly but surely
blossoming to fullest.
His desire, my heart.

My Lover and my God
Lover of my soul
gentle and tender.
He tends to
the garden of my heart.

Love so delicate and nourishing,
A Love that draws me out;
A Love that builds.
Love delights in me.

I had to catch a flight back to Sydney from Melbourne today for the Colour Conference and dear S took the City Circle tram with me to Southern Cross Station to catch the coach to Avalon.

We only had 30 minutes in total to do that, plus waiting time.

I’ve got this thing about time and I get anxious if I run late. Today was one of those days, what more it’s about catching a flight.

We had to run for the City Circle tram, which came just in time, and the road crossing light changed just in time for us to get on it (with S exclaiming ‘Thank God!!!!’).

By the time we got off the tram, we only had 5 minutes to run down a distance (mind you, it looked quite a bit of distance with a trolley luggage and big backpack!) to a station where we had to figure which coach goes to Avalon.

We only made it in the nick of time, where I boarded last and had absolutely no breath, a very dry mouth from huffing and panting, and lungs on fire.

I admit. I did wonder at some point earlier on if I should have just saved myself an ease of mind by taking a cab. Just so I don’t have to make a mad rush, just so I don’t have to be anxious about time management. But God probably had that all figured out and S could see that much better when the tram first came in a timely fashion. I must say, He can be real cool at times

Mustard seed of faith, wherefore art thou? Those giants must fall before I can see the hand of God move in my life. I may not see what can take place 1 hour, 1 week, 1 year ahead of time, but God is already there, ahead of me.

“Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?” Matthew 6:26

D said I brought the rain with me to Sydney. Not a single drop when I landed, but it was drizzling when I got out to the arrival hall. Call me the goddess of great harvest (of course I’m kidding).

Glad to get a lift, and happy to be able to stay at a mate’s!

Now I need to get a shot of him in leggings for A, with my new pink camera.

It gladdens my heart to see men blog about spiritual growth. Their own. Along with the struggles of living up to what they believe in and practically living out the faith. I’ve been reading blog such as timbob and hikerdude and am glad to see there is hope in our Christian men. Thanks brothers. Often, the ones I’ve met seem reluctant to live out their faith, or fun first, faith later, or those who liken being childlike in Jesus to being immature and irresponsible, hence refusing to grow up.

Is there hope in our Christian brothers? I’m heartened to see that those in my own small group are consistent in their faith, aligned in thoughts and deeds. As far as I can see anyway but I do hold them in high regard. Thank you brothers, for showing us girls what men ought to be like! To take lead, take charge, and protect the dames, not hurt them, for being responsible in words and in deeds.

I met up with a gal friend yesterday, who no longer wholeheartedly subscribe to God’s call for us to ‘equally yoked’ in an exclusive relationship with the other sex. Her reasons? It is precisely the Christian men we have to be wary of, those who prey on women by hopping from church to church. Those who are really wolves but know the exact fit of sheep’s clothing to wear, to behave. Her conclusion? Christian men are no better than nonbelievers. Sometimes even worse. She has a nonbelieving friend, divorced, who goes out with married men, one of whom is a pastor.

Men, are you in church for the right reasons? Do you know your God-given responsibilities as men?

Does that sharing scare me? I’d be lying if I say no. Does that make me lose hope in the faith or God? Definitely no.

“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, For the help of His presence.” Psalm 42:5

Fact is, every man has the potential to fail us women. Pastor, pastor’s son, holy man, yogi, whatever! We all need God, and we all need His strength to go on in our journey. Nobody can claim to be holier or be seen to be holier except Jesus. All of us fall way short of His glory.

Ultimately, we will come to a place where we’re in an exclusive relationship simply cos we want to give, and to see the other person grow in faith, the same way as our Father chose to give sacrificially, unconditionally to us. A love that is not hindered by the fear that this person will fail us, nor see his faith as an instrument of control for his fallen nature and behaviour.

Our faith doesn’t control us – it liberates us to love, and not hurt too much when others fail us.

Apparently everybody falls into one of 4 of these dominant temperaments. I’m pre-dominantly a Melancholic. What are you? My introspective nature is apparently making me always try to figure myself out, whether in relationships or work. Must be why all these tests ignite enough curiosity in me to check them out.

I’ve found a Temperament Analysis test through Beverly Lahaye’s book on The New Spirit-Controlled Woman.

Don’t like your temperament and how your weaknesses are so blatant and making you so ungraceful? I can relate to that. The good news is that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us and He has already given us the Holy Spirit, that the fruits or strengths of the Spirit can bear fruit in us

Because of my natural inclination (my natural temperament), I need to give more thanks in everything, and be less critical (of myself, and others).

Thank God that somebody figured all these out to help clueless folks like me figure myself out.

After what a dear friend had gone through, my heart goes out to this little one (see below banner). Please pray for her as her entire family and friends who are anxiously awaiting a miracle.

We can only hope and trust in our doctors this much. We can only hope and trust in ourselves and our own efforts this much. Do we not often fail to see how limited we are as human beings, truly? Mere men of clay, with a wisp of breath.

“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.” Psalm 42:11

May our despair, hopelessness turn to joy and praise before Him.

I have a trip to Australia pending. Where should I go? There’s a conference that looks interesting and it speaks to my heart. Anybody is going for it? I’m a little afraid of being in a big place all by myself.

On the other hand, it looks like Planetshakers has their own Woman event as well. But it’s in July and is out of the way.

I need to make a decision fast and get my air ticket changed. Lord, lead me this week and make the conference available still, till then.

There comes a time in everyone’s life (I’m assuming) where we will go to the book of Job and thank God that such a story was even recorded.

Job lost everything in his life. His family, his health, his wealth, his friends. All things that I’m sure he holds very dear to.

Over a quick span of a month, I feel a little like Job. Uncle passed away, broken relationship, my darling kitty left us.

Teary and feeling hopeless, stripped of all that I have, I turned to what God told Job and learnt something fresh.

For all my lamentations, I have not heard Him given a single answer to my many why’s. Neither did He answer Job, but simply told him that He is God.

I know my God is a good God. He has splendid things in mind for me. He already told me so 5 years ago and He never goes back on His promises. Ever.

“…the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.” Job 42:10

He blesses as He desires, for the good of all of us. Thank you Jesus. And thank you GN, for the cupcake!

happy girl cupcake